So, yes, I am in my early 30's and I read the Twilight series.  Yes, I know they are for young adults (which, when I told B that they were Young Adult books, he said, "are we not young adults?" - Um no sweetie.).  In my experience, usually the book is far better than the movie.  Although, the HP movies are really good.  The worst adaptation I've ever seen was The Firm.  I felt totally gypped when they skipped the whole "Running from the Firm in Destin" section and replaced it with Tom Cruise striking a deal with the mob.  Give me a freaking break.  However, The Firm has lost its distinction as the worst book adaptation ever.  That happy award now belongs to Twilight.  They changed things about the story for "movie's sake" (I guess) that really didn't need to be changed.  There are so many things I want to comment on that I can't really put them in a coherent order.  So, here are my stream-of-consciousness, review notes of the movie Twilight:

1.  Issues With Hair (part one) - I realize they were on a limited budget, but I also know there are lots and lots of lots of people in Hollywood looking to break into acting.  I'd bet, a good many of them are natural blondes (or at least they were natural blondes as children and therefore highlight well - ie. like me).  So, when a story calls for a blonde, why not CAST AN ACTUAL BLONDE PERSON.  I swear, the chick that played Rosalie and Carlisle looked like someone had sprayed their hair with a can of orange halloween paint.  Horrifying.  I mean, it looked like it they did it in a gas station bathroom moments before their scene taped.  

2.  Issues With Hair (part two) - I really needed my "WTF?" stamp last night.  I would have stamped it all over Jasper (more about him later).  I mean, WHO DECIDED ON THAT HAIRSTYLE?  I can't imagine anyone on earth who would choose that their hair look like that.  No man.  No woman.  No tranny.  No one.  Why?  Why? Why?

3.  Jasper (general) -  Whoever cast him should be shot.  He only had about 4 lines, but I couldn't look at him.  He was creepy and embarassing all at the same time.  He looked like a character out of Rocky Horror Picture Show.  As Karly said, "JPW would have made a MUCH better Jasper".  I bet green cash that JPW is a better actor.

4.  The Casting Director - whoever cast this freaking movie should be shot.  Not only for Jasper and the non-blondes, but for a majority of the cast.  Seriously.  Did this person walk down to the Sofia Coppolla school of Acting to get these kids?  Did they walk down the street of Forks, WA and just get the first kids that came along?  

5.  The Make up - I had heard the vamp pale makeup was over done.  That doesn't quite describe it.  I found myself obsessed with Robert Pattinson's mouth during the entire movie.  Not because I think he's hot or anything, but because he had a nice, natural pinky shade of lipstick on during the entire movie, that I think would be great for me.  Oh yeah, I'M A GIRL!!!!  So, one of the best things about Twilight is that I may have found a new lipstick shade.

6.  Wooden - Ok.  I know that movies are never like what you picture in your head from the book.  However, when I imagined Edward, Bella and most of the other characters, I never imagined them reading from cue cards.  Seriously.  Edward and Bella (especially freaking Bella) could not get a sentence out without stammering over the words.  Painfully so.  I know that its not realistic to be perfectly verbose in real life.  However, it seemed like we were watching rehersals when they were having trouble remembering their lines.  To cover it up, they would wear a "pained" expression.  I really thought this would get better as the movie went on, but it didn't.  

7.  Bella - Um.  Ok.  I get that she was not playing the whole "Damsel in Distress" thing.  I get that the character is supposed to be painfully shy, but honestly, I don't see why anyone would want to even be friends with this chick.  I mean, all the HS kids were really nice to her the first day and acted like her bff's and what not, but she hardly more than nodded in their general direction when they spoke to her.  She's SHY.  Not COMPLETELY DEVOID OF PERSONALITY.  I don't think she smiled through the entire movie.  Smirking does not count.  Even in the book, Bella had some sassy, smart ass answers that made me think she had kind of a cute personality.  Not so much in the movie.

8.  Edward - Ok, Robert P. is a nice looking kid.  I actually liked him in Harry Potter.  So, who's decision was it to take a reasonably good looking actor that is supposed to be playing a smoking hot vampire and turn him into the lead singer for The Cure?  Add that person to the "To Be Shot" list.  Also, someone should pass RP a note that opening your eyes really really REALLY wide does not constitute good acting.  Please pass the same note to Jasper.

9.  Alice - Wow.  They did not develop her character at all.  She was one of my very favorite characters from the book and she was totally wasted in this movie.  Why did they not get Rachael Lee Cook?

10.  Peter Facinelli - Hey Pete.  Love you.  You seem like you are genuinely a good man in real life.  Supporting your wife on DWTS.  Raising the 3 girls with her.  I mean, you are married to the real Kelly Taylor so that makes you automatically cool in my book.  However, acting, maybe not the right path for you.  How about a nice daytime talk show?  The host of syndicated "Deal or No Deal"?  Acting in movies...not for you.  Also, why did you let them do that to your hair?

11.  The Meadow Scene - Yep, y'all totally screwed it up.  Thanks.

There were some really good things about the movie too.  Like...Bella's hair, Emmett, the lady who played Esme, the bad vamps, the sets (they really nailed the small town sets), the pretty pictures of N. Washington state, the funny part about the way Jessica's boobs look in her prom dress, money/sex/money/money/cat, the girl who played Jessica (the most believable and interesting person in the movie), the guy who played Charlie (he was fabulous!!!!!!  Loved him.)

I know I have more, but I've got to get the day started with the kiddies and all.  And go to work.  Anyhoo.  If you have any of your own observations, comments, etc.  Please feel free to share them in the comments section.  Discuss.